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A New Perspective To Old Relation Dynamics

When things get difficult, we are generally consumed in relations by looking at who is doing what to whom, how it should’t be, who is right or wrong. It leads us into diccussions we are probably familiar with and we don’t wanna go and yet almost pulled into! I mean the type of arguments which you almost know from the start what will be said, you can almost leave the conversation at a point and play a recorder for the rest of the talking! Same things, nothing new, no solution! .
I want to invite you to take a step back and approach with a different perspective to the same situation. Try to see things just as a ‘dynamic’ or a ‘role’ taking place. What do I mean by dynamics or roles in relationships? It might be anything you or the other person think, feel, do, experience. For example let’s assume you are a person who wants to speak and solve issues, not leave anything unresolved and the other person is more silent and avoiding to speak. Take it as a ‘role only’; the role of not wanting to speak or avoiding to speak
and search for yourself when and where you have been or you are in that role. Your initial response might be no, I am never like that, but stay with the question and soon you will see. When you see it, think of what made you or makes you go there, what was or is your why’s for avoding to speak. You can also think of how some other close relations you see this role. How and when it shows up. Or what is different in your relations that it doesn’t show up.
Now I want to invite you to look at this relationship and search how you might also be bringing that role, maybe just a tiny little bit. If you can completely be true to yourself, you may be able to find your part. For example there might be just one topic that you never bring to the table or maybe you say lets talk but you know he or she will refuse anyway and actually you are not so willing internally or for you it is just another aspect you can use to accuse the other one or to show yourself as the one who does the right thing…How maybe rarely, maybe slightly you are feeling or acting like that. If that person shows lets say a dark grey of that quality, we are looking for your light grey version.
Finding how and why a ‘role’ that disturbs us in the other is also alive in us is one of the most transforming perspectives for self and relations in my experience. WHY?
· It resolves the energy, so now you can go beyond toxic reactions and have a meaningful conversation about how you feel and what you both need.
· You become more open to see the other one beyond that trait or labeling. You may find yourself discovering new things about that person; which was actually there all the time but you weren’t seeing.
· It brings real empathy and understanding. In my experience empathy comes when you know yourself! You may find yourself more compassionate.
· You shed light into a shadow and grow personally. It is a wonderful way to work on
· This brings your attention from others to yourself and change the way you perceive relations. Any tension or resistance becomes a way for you to discover more of yourself.

Decision Making, Polarities and the Matrix

I felt like I saw the 0011 codes as Neo did in the Matrix movie while delivering a Deep Democracy Training. It was quite a moment for me, I want to share the story!
So in Deep Democracy training the participants decide what to do next and I facilitate their decision making process with my facilitator hat. There were two suggestions, we voted and it was equal votes for both topics. So asked the participants to “lobby” their views for about 5 minutes, why we should continue with what they want. Everybody shared their why’s as strong as possible and we voted a second time, equal votes on both sides.
So I switched the tools, new tool for decision making when groups cycle, same result: equal votes! How can a simple decision as what to do next take so much time and create tension right? I am sure you are experiencing this in meetings! There is a simple, seemingly “rational” decision you think would take 5 minutes and it takes an hour and everybody wants to leave the meeting feeling tired and exhausted in the process!
So in our training, where there was time to cover everything and we tried 3 different tools and no decision still. It shows me, this is not a rational decision anymore but an irrational one. So I switch to a tool for irrational issues. But to switch to it, I need to see the two sides, the polarity, that this whole discussion is turning around. And when I went over the things that were said I realised, the polarity was between theory and experience!
When I shared with the group if they can see this whole discussion was turning around theory versus experience, there was an immediate recognition in the group! So we decided to go into an argument with anonymous decision: theory is more important and should come first versus experience is more important! And it felt like a new wave of energy was released! The group realised how passionate they were and how much they had to say from both sides! The process ended with deep personal awareness and a realisation about how getting into conflict serves to build peace and amplifying a polarisation serves to unify!
As we were continuing the training, one participant shared a dynamic he was living with his son and asked me: I keep telling my son but he doesn’t understand. Should I keep trying to make him understand or should I just let him hit the wall and learn the hard way? I got very excited at this point because what he was actually telling me was that he was using theory to convince him till today and he was thinking whether he should change his approach and allow for experience for him to learn! The same polarity in a different way! The group wasn’t as excited as I was but they could see the polarity!
And finally we wanted to select another topic to experience the tools one last time. I was getting their views and one participant suggested to talk about ‘the dynamics shaping the country’ while another participant responded: That topic would be up in the air, lets talk about something in our circle of influence to reach a conclusion and act upon! I was amazed with the fractile of the same theme of theory versus practice showing itself! And revealing this changed the energy in the group. That was when I felt like I was seeing the 1s and 0s passing by! Different subject, different people and same pattern. Amazed with the realisation, we shared a sweet moment of silence in our understanding in a deeper layer.
So I invite you to try to see what your repetitive challenges in decision making is really about. Try to see the polarity that challenge is swimming in and go fishing:)

Social Responsibility Project – Vocational School Mentoring Program

By | Sample Works
Private Sector Volunteering Association (OSGD) in Turkey initiated the Vocational Schools Mentoring Program in 2012. The program is aimed at strengthening collaboration between corporations and vocational schools as well as building the confidence of students, help them clarify their goals for the future and prepare them for their professional careers. OSGD was searching for a partner to help them design the structured mentoring program and train volunteers of this program who were employees of member organizations.
As Tribe, we designed the structured mentoring program, developed guidebooks for mentors to carry out the mentoring program with the students in the schools. We also designed and delivered training programs for the volunteer mentors from the private sector organizations on how to mentor the students. Over the 7 years since we have been partnering in this program, we trained over 1,300 mentors and have reached approximately 10,000 students through these mentors.
The program has been rolled out within 60 private sector organizations in 15 cities in Turkey and has impacted 10,000 students in 116 vocational schools. Assessment of the program performance indicates that student confidence levels have been increased through participation in the program and significant number of students have been hired to work in the private organizations who have supported their mentorship or chose to continue their education in a university.

Leadership Development Program Design and Implementation

By | Sample Works
A multinational organization in the tire and reinforcement sector had a long history of investing in its leadership development. The current leadership programs had mixed reviews from employees and some program content was overlapping. Furthermore the new organisational model required that the leadership development pathways are revised to better fit the current organisational and leadership capability needs.
We reviewed all current programs as well as the new leadership capability needs. We mapped out the new leadership competency needs and identified various development approaches using 70/20/10 model. We created a development pathway with timelines depending on employee/leadership career steps and stages. Project also included documenting the vendor briefs and identifying the vendor selection criteria.
We were also commissioned to deliver several training programs to mid level leaders across 5 work sites in 4 different continents as part of the new development pathway.
The program has been rolled out globally and leaders have been going through the development programs based on their needs and experiences. The organisation is able to offer its employees with varied development opportunities from work experience to leadership exposure, from mentoring and coaching to training programs.

Team Coaching for Better Alignment and Collaboration

By | Sample Works
The leader of a regional foods R&D team in a global FMCG company, expressed her need to bring her team together, increase collaboration and synergy to become one team. The team consisted of members from different backgrounds and working from disperse locations. The team members had been working very individualistically in silos with no real team feeling. Additionally, the team had experienced a trauma historically and even though time has passed the effects of the trauma still existed which continued to feed the mistrust in the team.
We worked with the team leader and also measured the team effectiveness through a team questionnaire to identify the specific issues that the team needed to address to be its best. Based on the key areas needing focus, a series of team coaching sessions over 5 months were designed and implemented with the leadership team. During these team sessions the team worked on team purpose, existing conflict areas, increasing collaboration and how to keep each other accountable.
In addition to the sessions with the leadership team, we also facilitated a session with the larger extended team.
We completed the work with an after assessment to evaluate the progress the team has made.
The team was able to establish a common team purpose that supported engagement and alignment of work. The team members were able to connect at a deeper level and recognize its strengths which increased trust in the team. They started to lean into conflict more effectively and hold each other accountable for team results.

Leadership Coaching to Improve Organisational Climate

By | Sample Works
The leading company in the steel manufacturing industry had invested in its leadership development as part of a large corporate change initiative. All C-level executives and directors were assessed on their leadership competencies, leadership styles and the organisational climate they created for their teams. The assessments revealed that leaders needed to widen their leadership repertoire and improve on their organisational climate.
We coached 22 senior level executives individually over a 4 month period to help them identify what were the key areas they needed to focus on in their leadership styles and organisational climates. Our work focused on supporting each executive in 1 to 1 sessions to bring awareness around what kind of impact they wanted to create, how their current attitudes, behaviours and practices were supporting this aim and identifying ways of more effectively managing the climate they created.
For each executive the outcomes of the sessions were different. For example, for some it was an understanding of the impact of their behaviours / styles / leadership approach on the climate they created and acting proactively to effectively managing it. For others it was a deeper awareness of who they were as leaders and how the leadership role fit their ambitions.